COVID Changed How I View Things

After surviving a stroke in 2014 at the age of 40, the same feeling of a "new lease" set in again after recently suffering through coronavirus leaving me to make drastic changes in my career

Photo by Fusion Medical Animation on Unsplash

I never felt so sick in my life. It started on a Thursday afternoon about three weeks ago. It came hard and fast and it was nasty. It started with sniffles, then a scratchy throat. It wasn't much longer until the muscle and joint pain set in. Within hours I was nearly incapacitated. Exhausted. A nasty cough. Congestion and pressure like you wouldn’t believe.

I rarely left the bed for the next four days.

But that wasn't it.

My wife went through it when I did. My 18-month-old grandson, who had the sniffles that same day, would test positive two days later on the same day the rest of us did. My mom tested positive the day before us but by then we already knew. We got tested to confirm so we can take proper action to contain it. Although in our house, we had no containment. Why bother?

We were all infected!

Before all was said and done, 13 of us would test positive based on our contact tracing plan that we've had ready for nearly three years. Have I mentioned that my whole house managed to avoid COVID this whole time? My mom caught it at the beginning but she breezed through it as she was asymptomatic. Easy peasy. This time, however, made us think some of us might have a much harder time and there were/are serious concerns. I say that jokingly and not. 

The biggest worry for us was my parents who are in their 70s and our now five-week-old granddaughter who was born a month early. She had just left the NICU when COVID struck the family. And like the rest of us, she tested positive two days after the first sign of symptoms. A preemie with COVID was a scary thought. Luckily, other than some congestion, she breezed right through it with relative ease and received high marks from the pediatrician throughout.

My wife, kids, and daughter-in-law all fought it off like a mild cold and were over it in about 3 days. My stepdad and I, however, got it bad. For him, the first few days were easy, yet, he progressively got much worse and didn't test negative until today, three weeks in. He's still not doing well. My stepdad, who's been a father to me for nearly 30 years, has health issues. His getting COVID has been a huge fear of ours, hence all the precautions that helped us avoid bringing it home for nearly three years.

In the back of our minds, we knew it was inevitable.

For me, concerns were very similar. I've gone to great lengths to limit my exposure for the same reason: health issues. We all know that having a stroke can be seriously damaging. But it's not just the physical limitations. There are mental health issues that come as part of the package as well as many new issues (high blood pressure and seizures) that I didn't have prior. Add in the chronic pain from damage done to my back before my stroke and life becomes complicated.

Physically, I’ve recovered from the stroke much better than I thought I ever would. Well, aside from the chronic pain. The mental health aspects are also a major issue. While I once dealt with an anxiety disorder prior to 2014, after the stroke, the anxiety disorder became crippling at times - multiple times worse than before. Add in preexisting depression that also got worse as I realized my career was over didn’t help matters. In fact, it still impacts me today.

Getting COVID set off a combination of factors that left me wondering, once again, about what is truly important in life. And like in 2014, I realized I was stretching myself thin and creating yet another similar scenario when the stroke cost me everything. I simply couldn’t keep up with the established systems I had in place. My current systems are efficient as they can be. However, as I lay there feeling like I was on death's door, I realized I’m doing too much. That’s over.

So, what’s next?

Simplicity.

For the last several years I have committed myself to pitch articles to major outlets at least once or twice a week. That’s coming to an end. While the recognition and the paycheck would be nice and much-needed, I have never been able to commit myself to write from a place that alters my voice just so I can get some exposure. I’ve heard a lot of things from many editors and none of those left me feeling like making changes to my voice was worth working with people like them.

In other words, the minimal communication and recommended drastic changes left me feeling like this isn’t who I want to work for. So that’s going to end starting today. I will still contribute to Latino Rebels as I have for the last nearly five years. That won’t change. I love working with them and it’s an established relationship that promotes independent journalism on topics important to the Latino community in the U.S. Issues major media doesn’t typically cover.

Going Back to Home Base

My home base is my community. My people. The Writers and Editors of Color community alongside Futuro Media/Latino Rebels is home. It’s simple. It involves working with people that mean a lot to me. People who I love, admire, respect, and appreciate. A tribe, so to speak, that supported me from day one and who I equally champion every single day. For the opportunity to be part of two great communities of people who are both mentors and mentees.

Moving forward, I will be bringing you all my work in a more timely fashion (I hope). One issue with COVID was that it threw my schedule off. But, since I will only submit content to Latino Rebels/Futuro Media and post my other journalism pieces simultaneously on Medium, Substack, Patreon, and the Antagonist Magazine website, it seems more content will be coming your way faster than ever (for me).

My goal is to bring you more news around politics and race, misinformation, extremism, hate groups, Cuba, and every other topic I’m known for covering in smaller more bite-sized posts. I know that I’m known for long-form reporting and that will continue. But I’m in the process of setting a new daily schedule that focuses on my self-care first. COVID scared the hell out of me.

From now on, everything I do will focus on ensuring I take care of myself first. The stroke and COVID served as reminders that it could be “lights out” at any given moment. I intend to push to accomplish what I want/need to in my career (3 books in the works). Starting with my first book which will be named after one of my most popular articles titled, “Blue Privilege”.

What I need from you.

As I’ve stated many times I do what I do with a motivation to inspire and invoke change focused on human rights. As you know, I keep my content free for those who are poor or disabled - like me. That may/may not change. However, if it does change, for someone who can’t afford to be a paying subscriber, I intend to offer free access. It’s something I’m considering but not committed to. Honestly, I would rather just keep things free.

But that means I need you to become paying subscribers.

Currently, I have just one paying subscriber on Substack out of nearly 400 readers. I have six on Patreon that earn me under $50 dollars a month and Mediums is maybe good for anywhere from $20-$40 a month. As you can see, this hardly pays the bills. I have college-aged kids that I would love to put through school, an old truck that’s expensive to keep running, bills, and every other financial burden most people have. But I can’t keep up.

Independent journalism is hard work. No team. No newsroom. No support system.

I’ve been doing this writing thing for about 11 years. The stroke was a blessing in disguise as it provided me with more time to explore something I love to do. I began exploring journalism and auditing college courses online and taking online courses at journalism institutes like Poynter. It has been a struggle, but I think it’s time for the big ask - something I never do.

Can I count on you to become a paying subscriber on Patreon, Substack, or Medium?

Taking a step back to improve the quality and timing of my work is a big commitment and I need all the support I can get from my readers, fans, and friends. Thank you for being a part of my community.

I appreciate you all.

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Arturo is a writer, journalist, and publisher of The Antagonist Magazine. You can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.